10 things Star Trek taught me about the future

1. We might still have capitalism: The original series is actually pretty socialist - it’s certainly evolved beyond capitalism. We’re not (as far as I can remember) shown any actual exchange of money in the new film, but the product placements are pretty blatant so it’s easy to tell that Nokia and (horrifyingly) Budweiser are going strong.

2. Most people will be white. Oh there will be POC. There’s Captain Robau. And Uhura. And Sulu. So we haven’t actually died out yet. We’re just not the majority of the world’s population or anything.

3. Despite the fact that people are zooming across the universe, fraternising with all manner of creature and barely notice aliens standing next to them at the bar counter, non-American, non-English accents will continue to be hilarious.

4. Voice recognition technology will be used, and miraculously all the alien types who might need to use it will have physically evolved in a manner that will enable them to do so. But not human Russians, because they talk funny.

5. Women who go to the bar to buy a drink will still have to contend with random arseholes. Random arseholes will go on to have successful careers by way of an old-boys-club-ish set of values – “I knew your dad”, “You were very brave, there, when you punched out those colleagues”, etc, and said women will have to work under them and it won’t be awkward at all.

6. Appropriate clothing for women will consist of impractically short skirts.

7. Yo mama jokes will continue to be in use and effective.

8. School bullies will continue to exist. No one will actually do anything about this except maybe vaguely disapprove of it.

9. The Beastie Boys will continue to be awesome.

10. There will probably be sandwiches.

(Having said all this, I loved it. I was entirely uncritical while the film was actually playing, and plan to watch it again. “It makes my Id cum heaps all over”. )


11. Humankind will still have not come up with a way to make childbirth less painful. (What is this “epidural” of which you speak?)

8 Comments to “10 things Star Trek taught me about the future”

  1. Point 10 – yay!

  2. Re: 11:

    The epidural of which one speaks is, from what I can tell, highly likely to increase the odds of birth complications due to the fact that the medical profession typically treats childbirth idiotically.

    But, well, I’m one of those 30 weeks pregnant and thus kind of steeped in this kind of crazy investigation kinds of folks.

  3. ??! – Sandwiches are excellent.

    Kiya – I’ll take your word for it, since I’ve never had a reason to research it. I highly doubt this is the reason Star Trek chooses to keep childbirth painful, though!

  4. It’s something like:

    Epidural kills the sensation feedback loop that actually makes labor progress.

    We freak out about labor not progressing, inject a chemical that stresses the body and forces contractions.

    The stress loop puts the baby into a traumatic and dangerous situation, and more panic ensues.

    With bonus, “You know how they teach women how to ‘push’? Well, that stresses the baby and cuts off oxygen to the uterus, making it harder for the muscles to function”, which is one of the factoids I learned in my childbirth class today ….

    I hate the medical model of childbirth kind of a lot. I should blog some rants on it.

  5. Oh, and that lie down on the table to give birth shit? Absolute worst position for childbirth ever, maximising pain, duration, and complications for the sake of …

    … doctor convenience.

  6. So I was telling my husband about this list when we were on the way to see Star Trek again tonight, and I mentioned the painful-childbirth part, and he said “wait WAIT, this is STAR TREK. Why can’t they just use a transporter to get the baby out?”

    Really, why can’t they? Instant, non-invasive c-section right there!

  7. "6. Appropriate clothing for women will consist of impractically short skirts."

    Wait, you mean it isn't?

    And yay for sandwiches.

    Loved the new movie!

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