[With many sorries to Ashwin Pande. But look, no spoilers!
(That title is totally a spoiler)
(The rest of this post will also contain spoilers. I can't imagine anyone cares about this)]
Star Trek Into Darkness. Bullet points, because bullet points seem to be how I always talk about blockbuster-y movies on this blog and also because I am lazy.:
- I suspect the writing process for this movie went something like “Who’s the most popular Star Trek villain?” “Ah, right. What actors are popular right now?” Which is why this guy is playing this character.
- He says this line (except the bit about not being a terrorist, because he kind of is), and he says it straightfacedly. Unless JJ Abrams was doing an SRK shoutout on purpose?
- The last movie had Uhura randomly stripping down to her underwear. That doesn’t happen in this movie and at one point they even give her trousers. So that’s an improvement?
- … except there’s an entire scene engineered for the sole purpose of having Alice Eve’s character in her underwear. Apparently it is necessary to do this before changing into a suit to go outside the ship. Other people we see leave the ship in special suits: Kirk, Spock, Khan, Bones. Of those, we see the following in their underwear:
- To be fair to Abrams (but why should I?) with the image of Montalban’s Khan in our heads Cumberbatch’s chest would merely have seemed blindingly white. Because Cumberbatch is white. He is about as white as it is possible for a major actor in Hollywood (most of them are at least quite tanned) to be.
- One way of solving that problem would have been to maybe cast a reasonably buff brown person. Other people have written very lucidly on the politics of this casting decision; I’m a fan of N.K. Jemisin’s clever comparison of casting within a racist system with the Kobayashi Maru.
- When the 2009 movie came out I witnessed a number of discussions in which fans tried to retcon reasons for Kirk’s eyes being brown in the original series and blue in this alternate universe. I look forward to the theories that Khan’s newfound whiteness generates.
- Uhura is very competent in her first scene, and in general right up until she starts discussing her relationship with Spock in the middle of a delicate mission that could get them all killed because
that’s what girlfriends doReasons. - Quinto and Urban remain the best things about this cast, despite the painfully uninspired things the script gives them to do. Such as chase Benedict Cumberbatch on foot through future London.
- Cumberbatch appears in an early scene on a London street with his coat collar turned up and we thought of this and giggled a bit. Then, in the middle of the abovementioned chase scene he stopped to pick up and put on a long, swooshy coat so that he could then swooshily sherlock his way through the city. The young men sitting in front of us turned around and glared.
- The movie’s first scene is an attempt to prove Von Daniken’s Chariots of the Gods.
- In Abrams’ dubious defense: the last movie went straight for pretty/shiny/smouldery. This one manages a half-hearted attempt to examine the ethics of Starfleet, of Starfleet captains, of the organisation’s real purpose. By “examine” I mean “mention”.
- Many things are mentioned. As this review puts it: “Old Spock explains why Khan is a guy to be feared. Pike explains Kirk’s character to Kirk, and also throws in a detailed explanation of the lessons Kirk must learn in this movie. Khan explains his own history to everybody, and the evil admiral explains his evil plan to the entire crew of the Enterprise. The film breathlessly rushes from action scene to action scene, stopping only to have a character deliver leaden exposition almost directly at the camera. It’s as though all of the set pieces were conceived first and then a trio of subpar writers had to fill in the gaps. ” (Actually, just read all of that review, it’s entirely accurate)
- Wrath of Khan has a few iconic moments. Spock dies (spoiler: he comes back!), Kirk howls “KHAAAAN!!” STID does something supremely stupid; it rehashes and reverses the death scene. Now Spock has to watch Kirk die, their hands separated by a clear screen. Even now the scene might have retained some emotional resonance, until Spock howled out the name of his enemy. In that moment it became clear that the only emotion this film was interested in evoking was “I see what you did there”.
- Kirk’s emotional trajectory over these two films has been entirely linked to his loss of his father, then his loss of his mentor. As Jonathan McCalmont said yesterday, daddy issues within daddy issues. Spock’s emotional trajectory has been illustrated in its entirety by Gingerhaze here. I wonder if Alice Eve’s Carol Marcus gets to have parental issues–she did just see her dad start a war, try to kill a bunch of people, and have his head crushed.
- And finally, props to the movie for having Cumberbatch recite a series of terrible sexual innuendos in a (even by Cumberbatch standards) Very Deep voice. Since the movie gave him little to do as a villain, it was nice to see him breathily say “Oh, Captain!” in a shocked voice and ask Kirk if he was going to punish him some more. Should Abrams decide to make Star Trek III: Carry on Trekking, it’s nice to know he has something to draw on.
Short version, for anyone whose eyes have glazed over by now: This was a very bad film.






Stella Gibbons, Starlight
This was posted at Global Comment a couple of weeks ago. I’ve noticed that Starlight has been less widely reviewed than Westwood, the other recent Gibbons reissue. I’m not sure whether this is because it’s less well-known (perhaps the Lynne Truss connection gives Westwood the advantage?) or because it is simply so strange that no one knows quite what to do with it. To make things stranger, while Cold Comfort Farm was published in 1932 and Westwood in 1946, Starlight is from 1967 and is one of the last books Gibbons ever wrote. Characters in Starlight quote C.S. Lewis as if he were the sort of well-known author Gibbons could expect her readers to know. It’s a bit disorienting.
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Stella Gibbons is best known for 1932’s Cold Comfort Farm, a sublimely comic novel that satirised the grim, rural works of writers like Mary Webb and Sheila Kaye-Smith. Cold Comfort Farm is considered a classic, but its popularity has overshadowed Gibbons’ literary career. While she went on to write close to thirty novels, until recently most of these were unavailable and out of print.
Over the last year, however, Vintage have begun to publish Gibbons’ missing back catalogue. Westwood, Starlight, and Conference at Cold Comfort Farm have all been reissued, and there is the promise of more work by Gibbons to come. Of the three books republished thus far, Starlight is the latest (it was published in 1967) and in some ways shows the biggest divergence from the author’s most famous work.
A pair of joined cottages in a run-down part of London is bought by a new landlord. Most of the tenants move out, leaving only those who have nowhere else to go. These are the elderly Barnes sisters, Gladys and Annie, and Lancelot Fisher, the old man who lives in the attic and changes his name every month. But the new landlord is not the exploitative figure they have feared. Mr Pearson has bought Rose and Lily Cottages on the whim of his wife, who suffers from an unspecified illness. The flats are renovated and repainted, rents are not raised, and Mrs Pearson is installed in the newly pink-and-gold Lily Cottage.
For much of the book, Starlight is entirely domestic. A great deal of the novel is devoted to interactions between the residents of Rose Cottage and the local vicar and curate, the latter of whom is particularly bewildered by Gladys’ constant chatter. Gibbons’ insistence on showing class difference through accent is sometimes unfortunate, but these sections still provide humour of a sort that is directed as much at the public-school-educated curate as it is at the garroulous old woman.
The Pearsons seem entirely normal. He is the devoted but often crude husband; she is the fragile wife with a passing interest in the occult. Mrs Pearson’s greatest worry seems to be her distant relationship with her daughter, Peggy. Peggy works as a companion (and dog-sitter) to a rich woman, fending off the advances of the middle-aged son of the house on a regular basis. She has a secret sorrow but even that, when revealed, is found to be mundane.
“Mundane” is not a perjorative here. One of Gibbons’ great strengths is an ability to take the utterly ordinary concerns of normal people and find a gentle humour in them without ever trivialising them. And so we feel for the socially inept curate as we do for the awkward teenaged girl who is Mrs Pearson’s protégée. We understand Annie’s fears and Peggy’s doomed love affair is no less tragic for being ordinary.
It is with the introduction of Mrs Pearson that the reader gets the first sign that all is not entirely as it seems. From the first description of her there is something sinister about her illness.
The word death breathed chillingly from some cave in a mind so stuffed with cosy things that there was barely room for it. As she said afterwards to her sister, ‘That was what she put me in mind of – death. Poor soul, I thought.’ Yet – it was not only death.
As anyone who has read the back cover of the book will already know, Gladys and Annie soon begin to think that there is something sinister about Mrs Pearson. Yet everything about the kind of book that Starlight has signalled itself to be suggests that these fears will prove to have a rational (and possibly comical) solution. But there is a gradual unfolding of Mrs Pearson’s various oddities. Her hatred of the church bells ringing; her desire to “touch the pavements with my feet” (again and again the text draws our attention to the oddity of this phrasing). The book begins to refer to “the thing” behind Mrs Pearson’s eyes as a separate entity to the woman herself. Eventually the reader has no choice but to admit it; despite all evidence to the contrary, Starlight is a novel about demonic possession.
It’s even more bewildering that, having made this revelation, Gibbons feels no apparent need to dwell upon it. The book continues to pay as much attention to Peggy’s romantic life (and how is it that her mother’s being a tool of dark forces occupies her mind so little?) and to the oddities of Mr Fisher as it does to the supernatural drama taking place inside Lily Cottage. It’s hard to tell to what extent the sections dealing with the thing inside Mrs Pearson and its exorcism are meant to be scary – the juxtaposition with the pink and gold house and its inhabitants is sometimes effective, sometimes ludicrous.
After that great moment of genre-instability, though, nothing seems quite as safe. And suddenly it seems the text is throwing up all sorts of minor instances of weirdness as if to keep reminding us that we have no way of knowing what Gibbons is likely to do next. What, for example, are we to make of this short paragraph in which the universe of the novel seems to have shifted to that of A Clockwork Orange?
As she drew near to the cottages, midnight was striking from the steeple among the crowded television masts on the old roofs.
She ran the last hundred yards, keeping in the shadow of the ruinous doorways to avoid a group of boys that was attacking, almost silently, a man at the end of the Walk. She waited until they were all concentrated over his fallen body, kicking and smiting in hushed fury, then shot lightly past, on the other side of the street and gained her own front door.
We are never told why gangs of murderous boys are roaming the streets. None of the characters seems surprised when their actions lead to death.
It makes no sense that this book should exist, thus suspended between comedy and melodrama, horror and domesticity and theological fiction. But it does, somehow, and it is utterly weird, and it is bewilderingly good.
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