Archive for March 2nd, 2008

March 2, 2008

The Difficult Lives of Corporate Spouses

As the flatmate and I partook of late night biscuits, we discussed the (undoubtedly competitive) chocolate biscuit industry and its advertising. A certain biscuit company has an advertisement supposedly set in Italy in which a sadly unintelligent baker’s boy (named, inexplicably, after an Italian city) is taught how to bake cookies by a young woman who comes to him late at night and proceeds to initiate him into the ways of adulthood.

What worried us at first was that the woman seems to give away the recipe in the process. Surely that is a bad idea, we fretted. Neither of us has any experience with running a business, but we’re both sure that giving out a secret as vital as your biscuit recipe to all and sundry is a pretty basic mistake.

Till we realized that this was not the entire recipe. Flour, butter and chocolate in unspecified quantities do not a good biscuit make. Obviously between the adding of the chocolate and the baking some secret ingredient had been added that was supposed to raise these biscuits above all others. In the context of the advert, this can only have been what are scientifically known as sex juices.

Which led, unavoidably, to the question of where they were getting this steady supply of said juices that allowed them to continue making these biscuits. We can only assume that company employees are given those little plastic sample collection cups to take home with them.

For biscuits, no sacrifice is too great.